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What’s Going On?

9 Jul

I was born and raised in a small town in Indiana called “Kokomo” by a single mother with 5 sisters and 1 brother. We were the only black family in our neighborhood therefore, I and my sisters were THE only of our kind in our class during our elementary (Pettit Park) and middle school (Lafayette) years.

What did that mean for us? A LOT of fighting that is. I am going off of my memory so my sisters may have had different experiences. I remember that fighting came easy for me because a lot of times the kids that called me out of my name were at the same time afraid of me. They “assumed” I could fight. #perk

As the youngest, I remember how my older sisters had to do MORE fighting and made it known NOT to mess with those Christie girl’s. So I didn’t have to fight as often or as much as they did but I still had to fight. I remember fighting during recess because someone called me out of my name and instead of Mr. Russell (our principal) sending me home – he made me sit in the office until school was out. That walk home was a long one because I just KNEW when I got home Jan Houston-Christie was gonna BEAT ME DOWN!!! But instead silence. NOTHING. Mr. Russell never called her.

Mr. Russell had no idea how much he saved me but as an adult I realize something. I think he knew if he called my Mom – I’d get in trouble. But why? For defending myself against being called a derogatory, demeaning and revolting name. I think he spared me out of some level of understanding. I don’t think Mr. Russell could understand ALL the way but he sympathized with my situation. NOW – if Mr. Russell was prejudice himself not only would he have called Jan but he would have paddled me (we got those in school back in the day). But he didn’t do that. He didn’t even give me a tongue lashing…He just told me to go sit. I’ll never know if Mr. Russell ever addressed the students who called me names. Maybe he did…maybe he didn’t but what I appreciated  most of him was that he cared enough to show me sympathy. Don’t think he felt sorry for me but TRIED to understand what I was going through.

What’s going on?

Why is it that we cannot have this approach in society today? THE only 2 things that make us different are: 1) the color of our skin & 2) the way we are treated in this country. The question was asked to white society – if given the opportunity – would you trade places in society with a black person? IF you answer yes, then I believe it would show you things you NEVER knew existed. IF you say no, then that means you  obviously realize there is an issue. To my fellow brothers & sisters: How do you expect one to totally “understand” our stance IF they’ve never experienced it? The same way we need our white family to make an attempt to “sympathize” we also need to “understand” that they can’t see something that has never affected them. BOTH parties should exercise compassion.  To my white family – if we tell you that we’ve been stung by a bee and it hurts DON’T tell us “No it doesn’t” and don’t tell me “Well if you hadn’t been outside then you wouldn’t have been stung to begin with.” Neither of those comments erase the pain. It still hurts.

God created us ALL in His image so if a portion of God is being demeaned, disrespected and most importantly killed…then we as His creation should lay down our differences and seek out a solution. One of the solutions I see is we as “black Americans” need to first begin to love, respect and honor ourselves again. When we kill and defile ourselves it gives the “illusion” for others that it’s ok to do the same. Respect begats Respect!!!

Love is the solution and it starts in our individual worlds. Make a special effort to love on everyone in your day to day lives. Smile and offer a hello. Help someone even if they are apprehensive at first. Put it into your everyday practice and it will become routine.

I love you all!!! Remember that: LOVE isn’t love unless you GIVE it away

 

Gospel Recording Artist Trish Standley is also the host of the weekly show Style with Trysh ~ connect with All things Trish by visiting http://www.trishstandley.com 

 

 

Who’s talking in your ear?

21 Apr

I don’t watch much t.v. and on the occasion that I do it is normally Law & Order or something that doesn’t require me to be series loyal.

One day I decided to take a couple of days off work because I was tired so I actually made myself sit down and watch some television. As I am channel surfing, I run across the show “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” Now normally I’d speed dial right past that show because one of my pet peeves is to watch women divided and being messy displayed for all the world to see. But I said no, let me see what all the hype is about.

As I am watching, I see how Kim Fields is being teased (underhandedly I might add) because she doesn’t drink and hang out because she says when she is not working she is all about her family. And this comes from a woman who desires what she has “a family.” I also see where Phaedra and Kandi (assumed good friends) have had a falling out or misunderstanding and has selected to sit down and talk about it. After tears have fallen, the air has been cleared and the ladies part ways. Kandi’s assistant enters the room and proceeds to talk Kandi down from getting past she & Phaedra’s “issue.” In the beginning Kandi defends Phaedra but he continues to tear Phaedra down to the point that Kandi is left scratching her head wondering if Phaedra was really being genuine.

This really bothered me when I saw this because my thoughts were: Why is he enjoying this division and Kandi is pregnant and she doesn’t need anymore “extra” drama.

It made me evaluate my dealings with people. Am I the Kandi or am I the one talking negativity in her ear? Anyone who speaks against forgiving another isn’t really your friend nor do they have your back. Forgiveness is something that we must do in order to live fulfilled lives. Think about that for just a moment. Forgiveness gives YOU freedom and will eventually bring YOU healing. What type of friend would not want that for YOU?

Whether you represent the “ear” or the “talker” be careful and allow yourself to have the final say. Influence can be a good thing; however if another person’s words are negative and cause division than you really should consider their motive.

Kandi and Phaedra may not ever fully restore their friendship; however that is between the two of them. Forgiving doesn’t mean that the friendship will remain at the same level as before; however it allows for the space and opportunity for a fresh new start.

So I ask, “Who’s talking in your ear?”

 

 

Bad Review

31 Mar

In 2011-12, I released my cd titled, “Redemption” and I was so excited because it was my first full cd and I believe (know) that I partnered with some of the best to create a well balanced product that conveyed the message that God had given me for that season.

As an independent artist, one of the tasks that we endure is “getting the word out” so I thought it wise to post on all my social media pages and email blasts to check out my music on Amazon and write a review. I was hoping that this would generate traffic to my music page. One of the habits that I exercise is the habit of googling myself and periodically checking sites where my music is sold. Since I was doing this campaign to get reviews I would check them more frequently than normal.

One day when I checked Amazon, I saw a review that said something like: Trish is a mediocre singer who would do better singing background vocals. And they went on to say that my music was not to their liking. Of course they posted anonymously so I had no clue who posted this. If you are familiar with any artists/musicians in your life then you know how extremely sensitive we are; therefore, you understand that I went into a world spin from this ONE review.

With the counsel of my hubby, family & close friends I decided to use that review as fuel. I decided that I am not meant for everyone and that may have VERY well been their truth. I needed to be reminded WHY I do what I do. There is purpose behind it and that isn’t meant for all. At the same time, I am still responsible to minister for the remnant that God has assigned me to minister to. Until He calls me home, I’ll continue in HIS way.

I viewed an awesome video recently where an artist shared that we all have different purposes, visions and plans given to us by God so we deny Christ when we compare ourselves to someone else’s success or even failure. Staying focused is tough BUT it is required to stay our course.

I wanted to share that review within this blog but when I went to cut and paste it, it was no longer there. That above everything else baffled me. It could be that with time reviews are deleted or the person who initially wrote it, deleted it. Who knows? It really doesn’t matter. I thank God for growth and as painful as it was THEN ~ I continue to use it as fuel NOW!!!

I’d like to encourage someone today that a “bad” review doesn’t have to paralyze you. Use that hurt, pain & embarrassment and turn it into charge. Get busy doing what GOD told you to do. #GO

Trish Standley is a gospel recording artist from Atlanta, GA and the host of Style with Trysh. Check out all things Trish by visiting www.trishstandley.com

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Growth

3 Jan

One of the things that I’ve desired within myself New Year after New Year is growth. There are certain traits and characteristics within me where I desire to see progress. My personal growth goals have been some of the most difficult ones to eliminate from practice not only because it takes MUCH work but also because they’ve been habits for so many years.

It is easier to change the body by diet and exercise than the mind; however all of the above demands a change of heart. You have to be willing to endure the pain in order to receive the progress. Life is a journey that requires growth and growth requires pain. One has to keep their mind focused on the “progress” during those most difficult times. There will be days when your rational maturing self will have to talk down the irrational immature self.

The most annoying statement made is: “You’ve changed or you are brand new.” My response is: That is what life is about isn’t it? Growing. No it isn’t an excuse to mistreat people; however some people will be in your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. Doesn’t mean that you have to part ways in anger or with drama.

I am so excited about continuing to chip away at my shortcomings because I am eager for growth. I am eager to love harder, forgive quicker and serve better. Focusing on the “progress” and not the “pain” will allow this journey to be more enduring.

Trish Standley is a Gospel Recording Artist from Atlanta and the host of “Style with Trysh” Visit her at: www.trishstandley.com

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Late Bloomer

18 Nov

It is so funny because one of the greatest friends I’ve had in my life is in another country and most of our communication is done via text or email. As I was catching her up on things that have been going on in my life as of late, I found myself going IN on a “different” encounter that I’ve had. I found myself almost returning to child-like thinking and purging. I decided that I would write about these feelings because for me it causes healing.

As a child, I considered myself an ugly duckling because there were a lot of beautiful peers surrounding me. (So I thought at the time). I was around girls who called themselves “pretty” with button noses and straight teeth. All of which I did NOT have; hence my feelings of being inferior. Being raised by a single mother, I couldn’t even enjoy the luxury of at least having the money to compensate for my lacking. On top of my overbite, very poor vision and skinny frame – I suffered with an allergy to insect bites which caused blisters then scarring and horrible facial acne. I  was a COGIC church girl so that meant no make up or pants. It was ROUGH for those of us who didn’t have it naturally.

At the age of 15, my Mom sent me to modeling school and they taught me along with HER how to appreciate my own beauty. GREAT parenting goes a long way. Janette Houson-Christie was the #1 best assigned to me by God. The second was my God Mommie – Mazzie Beard-Gaillard who taught me to be tough and lastly my oldest sister Ruby Bell who taught me that common sense was JUST as important as book smarts. By the time I graduated from high school and moved to Atlanta, I had the confidence needed to say HMMMM maybe.

Although I grew up in a small town, I learned that once you go out into the world you will find out what you are TRULY made up of.  This sensitive and insecure kid began to believe in herself and exercised all the talks and lessons given to her. As I began to mature in who I am and being okay with all my flaws I found an inner beauty.

NOW – I celebrate being a late bloomer because I would prefer NOTHING more than to walk in my purpose KNOWING who I am, where I come from and where I’m going.

To my fellow “late bloomers” don’t regret your past but CELEBRATE because NOW is your time.

 

Trish is a Gospel Recording Artist and host of Style with Trysh who now resides in Atlanta, GA ~ visit her website at http://www.trishstandley.com

 

 

Comic Relief

16 May

Trish New Banner

Today is a day that I am very tired and I’d prefer to be in my bed sleeping; however I am required to be present at my day career for another couple of hours so I thought I’d crack myself up about myself.

If you know me really well you know that I am terrified of reptiles (any type). So much so that I can’t stand to even look at them in print or on t.v. They just give me the creeps.

Well one day I was driving down the street on an absolutely beautiful day here in the ATL with the windows to my Yukon XL rolled down. I slow a little because I am approaching a red light and as I do something falls out of the tree that I’m under onto my windshield.

Can you possibly guess what it was?

I call them lizards others have called them salamanders either way they are reptiles. Needless to say, I stood ALL THE WAY UP on my brakes and as soon as I did that he ran to my side of the car and FELL into the open window.

Can you imagine my horror?

I just jumped out and forgot to put the truck in park so then it begins to roll a little bit. So I have to jump back in and put it in park. Keep in mind, I am in the middle of a 2 lane street and now traffic is blocked.

As I’m standing in the middle of the street, a nice gentleman comes to my rescue and asks what is wrong so I proceed to tell him. WHILE he gives me the “side eye”, the nice gentleman whose house I’m parked in front of walks up to hear my story. He tells me to pull into his drive so that I am not blocking the street. AFTER I give him the”ahh nahhh” look, the first kind gentleman jumps in my truck to get it out of the street.

So as they are searching my truck they finally found the sucker all the way back in my hatchback and aided his little nasty behind out WITHOUT causing him any harm.

Moral of the story?

Don’t ride down the street with your windows open because you just don’t know what type of visitor you’ll get.

 

True story: Hope that made you laugh today.

 

Have a fantabulous DAY!

 

Trish

 

Peaceful“Style with Trysh” airs every Sunday from 6 to 7 p.m. EST join us @ www.blogtalkradio.com/stylewithtrysh

www.trishstandley.com

Define: Hater

16 May

Trish New Banner

In this age where the term “hater” is used so loosely, I decided to really take a close look into its meaning.

Hater: Desiring to knock someone down a notch

Let’s visit some traditional terms for the word such as:

Jealousy: the fear that someone will take something from you i.e. when someone flirts with someone’s sweetie and the emotion that you feel (NOTE: this term often includes 3 or more persons)

Envy: the desire to have something that someone else possesses and resents them for having it i.e. idolizing a pair of shoes someone else owns (NOTE: this often includes only 2 people)

The terms that mostly coincide in my opinion is “hatery” and “envy.” When we allow ourselves to take that high dive into this pool of deception we totally eliminate the acknowledgement of the blessings of God in our lives.

If these were not emotions that the majority experience than there would not be so many references to it in the Word of God. TAKE A PAUSE in this moment and allow yourself to be transparent and answer these questions:

Has there been a situation and/or person who you can’t quite understand why they seem to acquire “that thing” easily with seemingly no worries?

Have you compared yourself to and/or the success of another person?

My belief is that we can ALL relate to this at some point and time in our lives however I believe that the only way to overcome it is to recognize and acknowledge it.

It is often easy for us to see when “hatery” is being done to us BUT how many of us are willing to SEE when WE ourselves are hating on someone else?

I would not be able to write this blog without speaking on this point also and that is a lot of times we speak on “our haters” when most of the time they don’t exist. IF a person doesn’t find your idea, look, opinion or talent – life altering as you do than that doesn’t define them as a “hater” only a person with their own opinion. It’s very important to know the difference so that when this emotion rises up in us THAN we can act in contrary to the mindset and feeling.

Ultimately, God created us all differently and he finds each of us special in our own right. The very “thing” that our finite minds believe we can handle HE knows we actually cannot. And that “thing” would destroy us. The next time these feelings rise up in us, let’s challenge ourselves to remember this fact.

The Word of God states, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21 ESV

It is a proven fact that THE easiest way to obtain the desires of your heart is to TRULY celebrate the successes of others. When we decide to self-focus then we lose our way. Keep your vision outward with your heart stayed on God and you can’t go wrong.

I wish you ALL the success God has in store especially for you.

 

From the heart,

Trish

Peaceful

“Style with Trysh” airs every Sunday from 6 to 7 p.m. EST join us @ http://www.blogtalkradio.com/stylewithtrysh