Who’s talking in your ear?

I don’t watch much t.v. and on the occasion that I do it is normally Law & Order or something that doesn’t require me to be series loyal.

One day I decided to take a couple of days off work because I was tired so I actually made myself sit down and watch some television. As I am channel surfing, I run across the show “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” Now normally I’d speed dial right past that show because one of my pet peeves is to watch women divided and being messy displayed for all the world to see. But I said no, let me see what all the hype is about.

As I am watching, I see how Kim Fields is being teased (underhandedly I might add) because she doesn’t drink and hang out because she says when she is not working she is all about her family. And this comes from a woman who desires what she has “a family.” I also see where Phaedra and Kandi (assumed good friends) have had a falling out or misunderstanding and has selected to sit down and talk about it. After tears have fallen, the air has been cleared and the ladies part ways. Kandi’s assistant enters the room and proceeds to talk Kandi down from getting past she & Phaedra’s “issue.” In the beginning Kandi defends Phaedra but he continues to tear Phaedra down to the point that Kandi is left scratching her head wondering if Phaedra was really being genuine.

This really bothered me when I saw this because my thoughts were: Why is he enjoying this division and Kandi is pregnant and she doesn’t need anymore “extra” drama.

It made me evaluate my dealings with people. Am I the Kandi or am I the one talking negativity in her ear? Anyone who speaks against forgiving another isn’t really your friend nor do they have your back. Forgiveness is something that we must do in order to live fulfilled lives. Think about that for just a moment. Forgiveness gives YOU freedom and will eventually bring YOU healing. What type of friend would not want that for YOU?

Whether you represent the “ear” or the “talker” be careful and allow yourself to have the final say. Influence can be a good thing; however if another person’s words are negative and cause division than you really should consider their motive.

Kandi and Phaedra may not ever fully restore their friendship; however that is between the two of them. Forgiving doesn’t mean that the friendship will remain at the same level as before; however it allows for the space and opportunity for a fresh new start.

So I ask, “Who’s talking in your ear?”

 

 

Bad Review

In 2011-12, I released my cd titled, “Redemption” and I was so excited because it was my first full cd and I believe (know) that I partnered with some of the best to create a well balanced product that conveyed the message that God had given me for that season.

As an independent artist, one of the tasks that we endure is “getting the word out” so I thought it wise to post on all my social media pages and email blasts to check out my music on Amazon and write a review. I was hoping that this would generate traffic to my music page. One of the habits that I exercise is the habit of googling myself and periodically checking sites where my music is sold. Since I was doing this campaign to get reviews I would check them more frequently than normal.

One day when I checked Amazon, I saw a review that said something like: Trish is a mediocre singer who would do better singing background vocals. And they went on to say that my music was not to their liking. Of course they posted anonymously so I had no clue who posted this. If you are familiar with any artists/musicians in your life then you know how extremely sensitive we are; therefore, you understand that I went into a world spin from this ONE review.

With the counsel of my hubby, family & close friends I decided to use that review as fuel. I decided that I am not meant for everyone and that may have VERY well been their truth. I needed to be reminded WHY I do what I do. There is purpose behind it and that isn’t meant for all. At the same time, I am still responsible to minister for the remnant that God has assigned me to minister to. Until He calls me home, I’ll continue in HIS way.

I viewed an awesome video recently where an artist shared that we all have different purposes, visions and plans given to us by God so we deny Christ when we compare ourselves to someone else’s success or even failure. Staying focused is tough BUT it is required to stay our course.

I wanted to share that review within this blog but when I went to cut and paste it, it was no longer there. That above everything else baffled me. It could be that with time reviews are deleted or the person who initially wrote it, deleted it. Who knows? It really doesn’t matter. I thank God for growth and as painful as it was THEN ~ I continue to use it as fuel NOW!!!

I’d like to encourage someone today that a “bad” review doesn’t have to paralyze you. Use that hurt, pain & embarrassment and turn it into charge. Get busy doing what GOD told you to do. #GO

Trish Standley is a gospel recording artist from Atlanta, GA and the host of Style with Trysh. Check out all things Trish by visiting www.trishstandley.com

 

 

 

Define: Hater

In this age where the term “hater” is used so loosely, I decided to really take a close look into its meaning.

Hater: Desiring to knock someone down a notch

Let’s visit some traditional terms for the word such as:

Jealousy: the fear that someone will take something from you i.e. when someone flirts with someone’s sweetie and the emotion that you feel (NOTE: this term often includes 3 or more persons)

Envy: the desire to have something that someone else possesses and resents them for having it i.e. idolizing a pair of shoes someone else owns (NOTE: this often includes only 2 people)

The terms that mostly coincide in my opinion is “hatery” and “envy.” When we allow ourselves to take that high dive into this pool of deception we totally eliminate the acknowledgement of the blessings of God in our lives.

If these were not emotions that the majority experience than there would not be so many references to it in the Word of God. TAKE A PAUSE in this moment and allow yourself to be transparent and answer these questions:

Has there been a situation and/or person who you can’t quite understand why they seem to acquire “that thing” easily with seemingly no worries?

Have you compared yourself to and/or the success of another person?

My belief is that we can ALL relate to this at some point and time in our lives however I believe that the only way to overcome it is to recognize and acknowledge it.

It is often easy for us to see when “hatery” is being done to us BUT how many of us are willing to SEE when WE ourselves are hating on someone else?

I would not be able to write this blog without speaking on this point also and that is a lot of times we speak on “our haters” when most of the time they don’t exist. IF a person doesn’t find your idea, look, opinion or talent – life altering as you do than that doesn’t define them as a “hater” only a person with their own opinion. It’s very important to know the difference so that when this emotion rises up in us THAN we can act in contrary to the mindset and feeling.

Ultimately, God created us all differently and he finds each of us special in our own right. The very “thing” that our finite minds believe we can handle HE knows we actually cannot. And that “thing” would destroy us. The next time these feelings rise up in us, let’s challenge ourselves to remember this fact.

The Word of God states, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21 ESV

It is a proven fact that THE easiest way to obtain the desires of your heart is to TRULY celebrate the successes of others. When we decide to self-focus then we lose our way. Keep your vision outward with your heart stayed on God and you can’t go wrong.

I wish you ALL the success God has in store especially for you.

 

From the heart,

Trish

“Style with Trysh” airs every Sunday from 6 to 7 p.m. EST join us @ http://www.blogtalkradio.com/stylewithtrysh

The Stellars: Through the Eyes of an Indie

This year (2012) was my very first “Stellar Awards” weekend experience and whenever I experience something for the first time I like to document it because there will never be a first time again.

Myself and my team traveled to Nashville, TN in preparations for participating in 2 Showcases on that Friday. I really did not know what to expect. A part of me was sensing that there would be the spirit of “who do you think you are?” or “she’s a nobody, who cares.” You guys know me and for those of you who do not…I can’t help BUT be transparent. If I felt it, I share it. I do know that I was not the only one to share these feelings. However, as we continued on our way a peace came over me and I remembered that this isn’t about me anyways. I need to “focus” on the matter at hand and LEARN as much as possible. You see I am a believer that God equips those He has called and so from that point on instead of looking at myself of not being at a certain degree. I decided to put it in it’s proper perspective and that was do ALL that God had ordained me to do and learn while there and take the good along with the bad. So I was ready, actually excited.

The first showcase that I did was for www.i-am-radio.com. This Empowerment Breakfast was organized by its station owner Beatrice “Sistah Peaches” Haywood. Her team was so very organized and professional. They covered ALL basis. It was GREAT to be able to see some of my fellow ECMA family members as well. (i.e. Carlos & Liz Merriweather) As the opening prayer, began I KNEW it was going to be something. Sistah Peaches began to walk the walls of the room in DEEP prayer and intercession. I could feel it brewing. And I just have to say that from the beginning to the end that Showcase was actually a worship experience. Every artist supported one another and we just had an AWESOME time in the Lord. The artist list consisted of: Silent Storm Mime Ministry, Miss Dae, Rose Belk, Javon Inman, Theresa Pinkney, Clinton “CD” Porter, Rodney Cunningham, Doris Stokes-Knight, The Gospel Sonz of Pine Bluff, Vonnie B, Duncan & Rachelle, Ayanna Smith, Cher2ification, Shaun Millz and Angela “Missy” Billups. And this represented just about EVERY expression of Gospel music. It was a joy & priviledge for me to be among this list.

Our awesome hosts were Bishop Sam Williams and Tanya Dallas-Lewis and they encouraged each of us to continue to give God our BEST. We were also given words of wisdom from some of the industry’s elite such as:Henry Harris-ECMA, Roderick Jemison-Director of Distribution at Central South Distribution, William “DJ Will” Newbill-GM of One Accord DJ Alliance (YEZHUR)and last but not least, Lady T’Mill Curtis “oh Lord what can I say?” I don’t think there was a person there who did not receive the Word of God from that woman. She challenged each of us to stay TRUE and focused on what God has called us to do. She encouraged us to support one another and keep each other lifted up. (You just don’t hear that much in an industry that is soooo competitive) I knew it was God. We had the blessing of being able to pray over Sistah Peaches that the Lord will increase her territory because of her obedience. I just have to say if this is what the Stellar Weekend is all about I’m going to be there EVERY year. LOL!!!

The next showcase that I had the pleasure of being a part of was the 2012 Anniversary Celeration for Yes Lord Radio. I can honestly say that I had a lot of fun at this event. First of all, it was a HUGE venue; however,  it had an intimate feel to it. The team that Elder Howard Young put in place were warm and pleasant. This event taught me a lot in the sense that it showed me the mechanics of the “behind the scenes” of major shows. Keep in mind this showcase included artists such as: Regina Belle, Martha Munizzi, Earnest Pugh and many more. The thing that I could appreciate most was that none of those listed prior were treated anymore special then the rest of the artists. (I am going off of my own personal experience). Now this was a huge line up of artists so I won’t begin to name them but there are both photos & videos posted on the Yes Lord Radio site @ www.yeslordradio.com. Feel free to check them out. I think one of the highlights of the night for me was having a chance to meet both Audra Wheat from the Wheat Report in person as well as Broderic Purvis of WLOU/WLLV Louisville, KY and BAP Ministries.

Overall, my experience at the Stellars as an Indie was great. Was it perfect? No. Did I see and hear of God’s people acting un-Godly? Yes. Will I make judgments? No. I’m taking the good and expanding on that and I’m taking the bad and learning how NOT to be.